If Each Social Media Platform Was A Martini…

I was having a conversation with a fellow social media tweep on Twitter the other day and the conversation turned to, if every social media site was a food, what would they be. We had some fun talking about it and she came back with some great ideas. The problem I had was that I have the taste buds of a 5 year old and I really couldn’t get very creative with types of food. Now, on the other hand, I used to be a bartender and I’m a sucker for a great martini – so here came this post’s topic: Every social media site as a martini!

Here’s how I’ve categorized each site:

Facebook: Appletini

The appletini is that yummy go-to martini when you just can’t think of anything else. It’s the drink that used to be fun and used to be for the “young” bar goers but has now become so common place that even your grandma drinks them. Similarly, Facebook is the everyday social media site that has become so mainstream that even your grandma is on there.

Twitter: Flirtini

The flirtini is a fun concoction made with champagne. You have to drink it quickly enough to really get the best of the champagne bubbles before they stop bubbling. Similarly, Twitter is the fun concoction made up of a multitude of personalities but whose posts dissolve quickly.

Google+: Pink Lemonade Martini

The pink lemonade martini is a tricky combination of sweet and sour. It’s a step up from the Appletini in terms of its fresh perspective but it’s not as overpowering as a flirtini. You can always add some exciting garnish for flare. It’s new and fresh and many people haven’t quite jumped on the bandwagon yet – in fact many bartenders may not even know how to make it properly. Likewise, Google+ is one of the newer sites that many people don’t know how to use properly or effectively. It’s also more fresh and modern with more tools than Facebook but it’s not as fast-paced and overwhelming as Twitter.

LinkedIn: Dirty Martini

The dirty martini is the epitome of the professional drink. It’s smooth, crisp, and simple. There’s no over-the-top garnish, no hoop-la, and no sugary attempts to lure the young drinkers. Now look at LinkedIn – it’s just the same. It’s the professional network without an abundance of photos, a lack of personal information, and very little attempt to bring in the younger generations. But when all you want is a professional information, there’s no better place to go. You don’t need to filter through endless posts, you can find exactly what you want where you want it.

Instagram: Chocolate Martini

The chocolate martini is that delicious treat in a glass. It’s so simple, it’s chocolate – almost everyone’s obsession. But ask 10 bartenders to make a chocolate martini and you’ll get 10 different variations. Some are creamy, some are topped with whipped cream, some are combined with espresso or coffee, some use chocolate liqueur, some use chocolate shavings, some use glasses rimmed in chocolate. You get it – you can make the same drink look a multitude of different ways. Just like Instagram. This social media site lets you take your simple photo and make it look however you want it to using a variety of filters.

Pinterest: Cosmo

The cosmo martini is that foo-foo girly drink that every girl has tried. It’s like a club, made famous by “Sex and the City”. You’ll see some guys try it and they may actually like it, but you’ll never hear them admit it. And there you have Pinterest. The girly site where we talk in funny lingo that no one else understands as we compare recipes, outfits, home decor, and travel destinations. And yes, there are men on the site, but how many of them admit it outside Pinterest?

And there you have it! That’s my martini line up of the social media sites. Next time you order a martini, think about what you’re ordering, a Facebook, a Pinterest, or a LinkedIn? Maybe you’ll add on an Instagram for dessert 😉

(Always drink responsibly and don’t drive though!)

If you enjoyed this post and found it fun and entertaining, please share it!

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11 thoughts on “If Each Social Media Platform Was A Martini…

    • Thanks Luke! Yum indeed – I love a good oatmeal cookie 🙂 But in terms of a social media platform, I’m thinking Pheed would be the oatmeal cookie. An oatmeal cookie is one of those drinks that once you’ve tried it is pretty addicting and you’ll crave it frequently, but you can’t really have too much. It’s also a interesting mix of multiple ingredients with a little bit of spice to it. It combines the simple ingredients with the extravagant (Goldschlager) for a delicious dessert style treat. Much like Pheed which is a fun combination of Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram – mixing the simple uploads with high quality posts for a great sharing site. However, it’s also kind of like the “dessert” site, the one you go to after you’ve visited all your other sites and want one last treat before you log off. What do you think?

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